Guest Blog – a guide to an Anglican interregnum

As you may know, we are ‘in vacancy’, or as it used to be known ‘having an interregnum’. Not everyone knows what that entails, but thankfully The Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley produced a handy guide back in 2016 and have kindly said we can repost it here.

You can find the original post here.

Oh, when somebody referring to a nearby parish referred to the “interregnum”, did it take me back. I remembered that time, between the Extremely Primitive Methodists and the Beaker Folk, when I worshipped in a Church of England church in that mythical state.

For those who don’t recognise the word, an “Interregnum” is the word the C of E uses informally for the time “between the reigns” of two ministers. It is a liminal time, like that at New Year. There’s a time in between the two – the old vicar’s gone, but it’s not the new. Certain actions are necessary between the reigns, which I will explain for you now.

The Scouring of the Church

In a parallel to the removal of yeast at Passover before the time in the desert, all traces of the last minister must be removed from the building.

You must understand that, as long as the minister is there, anything they leave lying around is treated as sacred. If the vicar constantly leaves their printed-out sermons in the pulpit or laying around the vestry, they will have been gathered up and preserved somewhere on the assumption that, once the vicar has got them all back, they’ll be bound into a kidskin book or something. The minute they’re gone, this illusion is shattered. The shreds and tatters of seven years of theological reflection are taken to the north side of the churchyard and ceremonially burnt.

The Establishment of Control

At some point in the interregnum, someone is going to want to grab some power. They will decide that at this time in the desert, God is raising up a prophet like Moses to guide his people. They may well use the word “liminal”.

Of course, they must be stopped. To do this two groups will be appointed: the Watchers and the Enforcers. The Watchers – a shadowy unofficial sub-committee of the PCC – will watch out for the trouble makers. Once they are identified, the Enforcers will subtly remove them from active parish involvement. This might mean organising the PCC to vote against anything they suggest; letting their tyres down to stop them making it to meetings; or hacking their computers to stop them emailing the bishop. But whatever they do, the Enforcers must not run the self-appointed prophet out of town on a rail. Not unless they really need to.

Moderating the Lay Reader

The parish Reader will normally fall into one of two categories. If they are terrified of having to preach more, they are the sort of modest example that is needed. Encourage them to preach more. If they start arguing that it might be better just to get retired priests in once a month, and start using the phrases “Service of the Word” and “Creative Liturgy”, get hold of the list of retired clergy, fast.

Which brings us onto…

The Retired Clergy

Increasingly, and thankfully, the people who keep vast chunks of the C of E functioning, particularly in the parts of urban England which are nice to retire to.

But retired clergy have a kind of spidey-sense which enables them to smell a vacancy at 20 miles. Indeed, even as the first thought that it’s time for pastures new crosses the incumbent’s mind, a retired clergy will be on the phone to the local undertaker offering any help they can give.

The Undoing of Things That Have been Done

The Big Book of Rules says you can’t make any changes to the forms of service or church ordering during an interregnum. But the Traditions of the Elders say that if you are just putting things back as they were before, that’s OK. So altars that were pushed against walls will be pulled away again. Tables that were pulled away from walls will be pushed back, and attacked with heavy-duty bolts. Common Worship pamphlets will join the vicar’s old sermons on the fire, to be replaced by the old BCPs. It will be agreed that not using full robes was only ever an experiment.

The Ageing of the Board of Past Vicars

The outgoing vicar’s name will have been added to the board on the south wall at a point about halfway through their reign. The last four years it will have shone like new gold alongside the faded names above. Now, the Diocesan Tarnisher will be called in to make the recently departed minister as one with the priests of the past.

The Parish Profile

The PCC will get together to decide that what they really need is a minister who combines the caring of Florence Nightingale, the inspirational preaching of John the Baptist, the skills in children’s work of Mary Poppins and the evangelistic powers of St Paul.

Canonization

The interregnum ends when after a suitable period the new minister – long awaited and prayed for – arrives. At their first few PCCs, it will be discovered that the previous incumbent had the caring of Florence Nightingale, the inspirational preaching of John the Baptist, the skills in children’s work of Mary Poppins and the evangelistic powers of St Paul. And would never have countenanced any of the things the new vicar is suggesting. The Churchwardens will remember all the things they have returned to the former places over the last eighteen months. And keep their counsel.

And the winners are…

The Farnham Poetry Competition, part of the Farnham Literary Festival, attracted more than 120 entries from across the country, all writing on the theme of Friendship.

The oldest entrant, whom we know about at least, was 96, the youngest was just four and, once again, we were awed by the talent and creativity of the entrants.

There were two categories: Under-16s, judged by poet Coral Rumble, and adults, judged by poet Linda Daruvala, and the results are:

Under-16. Highly Commended:

Emily Teuten – My Big Sister
Peggy Wingham – My love recipe
Sienna Law and Tilly Wild – Friendship is something no-one can take
Bea Timewell – You and I are sun and moon
Zahra Rafiq – A poem of friendship
Hugo De Gruchy Webster – Friends are big, friends are small
Scarlett Harwick and Bella Lister – Friendship is like nature
Charlotte Keleher – One thing can change the world
Zoran Stimson – True friends, Always disagree
Dolcie Jennings – I am Dolcie and I am 4

Third prize: Emily Tarrant – Peapods

Second prize: Salimata Gassama – Fractured Bonds

Winner: Jet Pariera-Jenks – Digital Friendships 

To read the top three prize-winners, click here.

Adults:

Highly Commended

Vinnie McGuire – Locked In A Van
Kate Kennington Steer – Visitation
Elly Jones – Exactly What She Deserves
Victoria D’Cruz – Artistic Licence
Ella Zubeidi – Adrift
Lisette Abrahams – Marking The Miles
Vicky Lowe – A Solitary Word

Third Prize: Kay Wadham – Farewell

Second Prize: Liz Kendall – She’s Never Seen The Mummy

Winner: Nicole Coward – These Are The Women

To read the top three prize-winners, click here.

Thank you to all our entrants and look out for further information about poetry at St Mark’s Church soon.

The winning poems of the 2024 Farnham Poetry Competition – Adult

Winner

These Are The Women
by Nicole Coward

On the day of your Mother’s funeral,
These are the women,
Who showed up in the brutal blue half-light of early morning,
Buttering bread and piecing together sandwiches,
Boiling water for tea,
The movement of their hands,
Cupping your tattered heart,
As the weight of grief tore at your edges.

These are the women who across the seasons,
Bear witness to snail trails of tears
Sliding into nests of unkempt hair,
Their deft hands folding washing,
Arriving unprompted with a casserole, a plated roast, flowers, cigarettes, a slab of fruit cake,
These are the women who stand and wipe dishes, wring out dish cloths, The women who see what needs doing, and turn up, and do it.

These are the women who share joy,
As it threads it’s way like water,
Spilling into life’s crevices,
Shared meals, throaty laughter, baking with smears of jam,
The hilarity of toddlers, growing children,
The women who press twenty pence pieces into sweaty palms,
And send kids to the shops for sweets,
Pacing kitchens, holding each other’s babies,
Moments like light refracting on the dew of a spider’s web,
Knitting a lace of beauty across history.

These are the women who can read you,
By the angle of your head,
As you stand at the sink washing dishes,
The women who will know your thoughts, as your glance slides off their faces,
Who can smell the intimate details,
Of the battle beneath the sunlight falling on your skin.

These are the women who show up for your hard moments,
And hold it as a privilege to walk beside you,
The women who carry each other across the decades,
Through their own faults and broken imperfections.
These are the women
Who love each other always and anyway,
These are the women who love you just as yourself.

Second prize
She’s Never Seen The Mummy
by Liz Kendall

Regressing, we watch the films of our adolescence together again.
This time in the home you own with your husband,
in which you raise your children, in which you cope with adult life.
I have not done this.
But at our age we both know death,
and have looked in its face and met its gaze more than once.
When we laugh now it is fuller and freer for the sudden lift of weight:
your anxiety for your children; my blurred vision over my staggering, carrier bag career.
Something sharp is starting a rip, just there where I can’t see it,
or perhaps something tender is squashed already,
and beginning to leak in drips.
What is happening today at school? The teachers are so stupid
and the friends are not the ones you’d choose.

We watch films and talk about them
and in between we talk about everything else
and it is the same language, we need no subtitles.

You told me of meeting someone our age who had never seen The Mummy,
and you followed this shocking revelation with the words:
 “I’ve watched that film every six months since it was released”,
and I laughed, and reached for another handful of whatever
children’s party food we were scoffing at 10am on a Friday morning,
and thought “Yes. That is why I love you. That’s why you’re my friend.”
Because in all the exhausting tangle of ageing parents
and illness and schools and work, real work and motherhood,
high-level motherhood of homemade cakes and justice and consistent patience,
you’ve never neglected Brendan Fraser.
And we both understand that this matters.
This, too, is devotion;
is what makes you such an exceptional woman, mother, wife and friend.
Every little lamb is followed and found, brought back to the fold:
a parable of care.

Before the children, before you wed,
you took a week off work;
absented yourself from your proper, grown-up job;
because the box set of The West Wing’s final season had been released
and you were going to watch it as it deserved:
immersed, in solitude, at home.
You goddess. You inspire me.

We were eleven when this began, talking and watching,
those years of first blood;
learning to cope with it, knowing it would be back,
like Arnie, at inconvenient times with pain like metal fists.
Your fainting fits at the iron’s lowest ebb;
but that tide rose again, and with it your children.
You don’t faint now. Your diplomacy looks like a flag of peace
and you wrap it so gracefully, concealing the sheath
of the sword you hold at your core.

Comfortably we regress; the green velvet cushions familiar,
old actors rewound to their prime, our delight still fresh.
The geeky thrills that sustain us in emergency
for emergency will come: has been and gone
and lurks now, waiting for its overture
on which neither of us has pressed play.
But it is not this day. May it not be today.

We know, we have bled and bled again and we know that these hours,
these sweet hard-soft popcorn moments, are how you keep
sunny and smiling; blond hair and blue jeans and a silver star
sparkling wide on your jumper as though you’d never lost anyone.
We both know that with only real life to live in we would each of us sink.
Give us films we’ve seen before, together,
and books we’ve read before and shared before, together,
before all this life and death came.

Third prize
Farewell
by Kay Wadham

The seat where she used to sit on the lonely cliff
Stands empty now.
She would muse on the rolling waves
And a broken vow.
Still the waves roll in as they did before
But she is gone.

Now he stands alone on the windswept shore
As the seabirds cry.
And the desolate sob that
escapes his throat
Is a last goodbye.

The winning poems of the 2024 Farnham Poetry Competition – Under-16s

Winner

Digital Friendships 
by Jet Pariera-Jenks

I have thousands of friends and likers
And all of them follow me
As if I am the coolest girl in class
Instead of little nobody.
I have thousands of subscribers and followers
As if I am the latest trend
Even though I’ve never met half of them
I’m proud to have so many friends.
Or should I call them strangers?
They could be anyone
I don’t know all their names
Or even where they’re from.
My friends could be any age
Are they older than I guessed?
I think I should be more cautious
When I’m sent a friend request.
We exchange ‘laters’ and ‘lols’ through texter
Our messages are emojis and GIFs
I have thousands of friends and strangers
In my digital friendships.

To see Jet perform her poem, click below.

Second prize
Fractured Bonds
by Salimata Gassama

I stand on the threshold of adulthood, A time of transition, a turbulent flood. Friends once close now drift away, Leaving me with memories, stark and gray. 

Adrift in a sea of changing tides, I cling to what once was, where my heart resides.

The laughter, the tears, the shared dreams we spun, Now shattered like glass in the setting sun. 

An allusion to youth, a fleeting sigh, As ambition drives us to reach for the sky. But in this journey of growing apart, Anxiety grips as it clutches my heart.

Yet courage whispers amidst the fear, Friendship’s essence ever clear. For in abandonment’s cruel sting, True bonds emerge with resilient wings.

 Freedom found in letting go, Embracing what comes, letting new friendships grow. So here I stand, on life’s grand stage, Understanding now, through wisdom’s gage.

Third prize
Peapods
by Emily Tarrant

‘Like two peas in a pod’ – what they say to inseparable friends, and young lovers.
But some pea pods, the peas are detached, and the friendship is broken.
Some peas, they quibble and quarrel in their pods.
Some peas, are happy and chuckle and grin.
Some peas, leave the pod before you take it in.
Some peas, go nasty, foul and rotten.
Some peas, yet difficult, are best left forgotten.
Such is the life of friendship and love,
Such is the life, of peas and pods.

Hope amid the Chaos

For LGBTQIA+ people and their allies

Hope Amidst the Chaos, a Holy Communion service with music based on Les Misérables, for LGBTQIA+ people and their allies, will take place at St Mary’s, Quarry Street, Guildford, on Wednesday, March 20th, 7.30pm.

Come along and sing some really cracking tunes and share in a communion service on a theme of hope amidst the chaos. Contact Stella for more details.

Serving the Villages North of Farnham: Badshot Lea, Hale, Heath End & Weybourne