Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a concept that was made popular by a man called Daniel Goleman, who wrote a book with that title. Decades of research have shown that it is the key requirement for success in every sphere of life. I recently read an article that analysed data from a million people show that these eighteen habits or qualities are prevalent in people with a high EQ:
- You have a robust emotional vocabulary
- You’re curious about people
- You embrace change
- You know your strengths and weaknesses
- You’re a good judge of character
- You are difficult to offend
- You know how to say no (to yourself and others)
- You let go of mistakes
- You give and expect nothing in return
- You don’t hold grudges
- You neutralize toxic people
- You don’t seek perfection
- You appreciate what you have
- You disconnect from technology sometimes
- You limit your caffeine intake
- You get enough sleep
- You stop negative self-talk in its tracks
- You won’t let anyone limit your joy
Reading this list made me wonder what an Emotionally Intelligent Church might look like. It would be a place where mistakes are allowed, offence is not taken, forgiveness is offered and thankfulness is central. There wouldn’t be grumbling or complaining, and change would be seen as a good thing. Toxic people would not be allowed to dominate, but instead they would be encouraged to understand their feelings. Self-control would be exercised, and people wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the jobs because they could say ‘no’. The church would serve the community joyfully and expect nothing in return.
Does this sound good? It does to me, although I think the only refreshments that would be served would be Chamomile or Peppermint tea!